So today is one of those days where I feel sad for no reason. Well not that kind of sadly sad but more to regretfully sad, and the reason is so unbeknown to me :(
I just feel so. Balik lambat from office to settle some matters only to be told by the boss that it can be settled tomorrow, while I was so eager to come home early since parents are at home.
Mom called me on my way home, and big bro just laughed out - katanya sebab dia sendiri xpernah call kalau aku balik lambat. Which is true enough. He didnt call me pun, just there are times where I came home to see him sitting on the chair at the door - he said to smoke, maybe while waiting for me to get home.
Honestly I do not know exactly what I want to do in my life at the moment. Maybe because alhamdulillah I have everything basic needs in my life, that probably I lost some sense of direction in me - especially on how to lead my life. Sometimes I feel like pursuing Masters, but I just forget things when they become too complicated. Sometimes I feel like buying house, which later I would let that intention goes - for the procedures are too time-consuming.
Basically, time.
I think that I am losing my time. Am I too busy? No, I still got time to sleep. But just that. Meaning that, whenever I get some free time to spend, sleeping will be my priority. I am too tired to stay awake doing things I usually love to. Even that. Then I miss the old times when I have nothing better to do so I stay awake whole night marathon-ing dramas and movies, appreciating every moment in life.
But now? No, baby. Sleep. Just forget everything and sleep. For the sleep would brush away everything in the mind. For the sleep would help me not to think about things I shall not be thinking. For the sleep - is my best medicine at the moment.
I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratefulness to Him, still, for these everything. In this matter, for allowing to get good sleep though I am having issues with my inner self. Indeed there are times where sleeping and waking up is so tiring. As sometimes those unwanted things slip into the dream, changing it into nightmares. But I would say, most of the time, alhamdulillah - it was a beautiful occasion. Sleep :)
Maybe this is why adulthood is sooooo hard. You earn your own money - like what you've been wishing since you were young. But in return - you are sacrificing something else, most notably is your time.
Which is why kena doa banyak2 semoga waktu dan masa kau diberkati. Biar singkat, biar terhad - tapi cukup sentiasa untuk semua - kerja, family, kawan-kawan, diri sendiri dan, TUHAN.
Selamat maju jaya Yam. Banyak dah kan belajar pasal kehidupan. Jadikanlah pedoman, panduan. Dan jangan lupa untuk terus kutip pengalaman. Buat bekalan masa hadapan.
All the best, Maryam. Really.
Regards,
Maryam.
I just feel so. Balik lambat from office to settle some matters only to be told by the boss that it can be settled tomorrow, while I was so eager to come home early since parents are at home.
Mom called me on my way home, and big bro just laughed out - katanya sebab dia sendiri xpernah call kalau aku balik lambat. Which is true enough. He didnt call me pun, just there are times where I came home to see him sitting on the chair at the door - he said to smoke, maybe while waiting for me to get home.
Honestly I do not know exactly what I want to do in my life at the moment. Maybe because alhamdulillah I have everything basic needs in my life, that probably I lost some sense of direction in me - especially on how to lead my life. Sometimes I feel like pursuing Masters, but I just forget things when they become too complicated. Sometimes I feel like buying house, which later I would let that intention goes - for the procedures are too time-consuming.
Basically, time.
I think that I am losing my time. Am I too busy? No, I still got time to sleep. But just that. Meaning that, whenever I get some free time to spend, sleeping will be my priority. I am too tired to stay awake doing things I usually love to. Even that. Then I miss the old times when I have nothing better to do so I stay awake whole night marathon-ing dramas and movies, appreciating every moment in life.
But now? No, baby. Sleep. Just forget everything and sleep. For the sleep would brush away everything in the mind. For the sleep would help me not to think about things I shall not be thinking. For the sleep - is my best medicine at the moment.
I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratefulness to Him, still, for these everything. In this matter, for allowing to get good sleep though I am having issues with my inner self. Indeed there are times where sleeping and waking up is so tiring. As sometimes those unwanted things slip into the dream, changing it into nightmares. But I would say, most of the time, alhamdulillah - it was a beautiful occasion. Sleep :)
Maybe this is why adulthood is sooooo hard. You earn your own money - like what you've been wishing since you were young. But in return - you are sacrificing something else, most notably is your time.
Which is why kena doa banyak2 semoga waktu dan masa kau diberkati. Biar singkat, biar terhad - tapi cukup sentiasa untuk semua - kerja, family, kawan-kawan, diri sendiri dan, TUHAN.
Selamat maju jaya Yam. Banyak dah kan belajar pasal kehidupan. Jadikanlah pedoman, panduan. Dan jangan lupa untuk terus kutip pengalaman. Buat bekalan masa hadapan.
All the best, Maryam. Really.
Regards,
Maryam.
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